Singing, silly and forced to surrender

I'm not exactly sure where all the energy comes from but it certainly comes in abundance.
It should be something we can bottle to access for ourselves when needed. Sadly it does not work this way.
This day was a particularly difficult day, but having this video to look back on makes it seems humorous at least. At the time, I felt both a deep love as well as a loss of control as I was forced to surrender in the chaos. Yes, it is true, I had no control over anything this day and no choice but to give into it. Or loose my mind. Which I did as well, I think, what? I had already lost it?



It's been a rough month and I am worn out. Challenged in many ways through out my life, children, home, health, work, you name it... Today I put the kids to bed for nap, walked across the hall to my bed and collapsed. I just don't do that. Today there was no choice. Truth be told, I laid down and just cried feeling defeated by the weight of everything. And then I slept dreaming of the same chaos, but sleeping just the same. I awoke to Carl calling to me... when I went in he smiled and said, "I love you Momma." It is hearing his and Willow's words, "I love you so, so much Momma" that make it all bearable and give me the strength I need to get through the rough patches. Oh they know how to push my buttons, but they also know how to warm my heart!

Learning to relax

The week is full of work and often I find the work trickles into the weekend. Meetings, shooting, house work and planning, etc. However, I have been trying to "work" my way into taking the time off and just focusing on family and relaxation.

Every other Saturday Brian and I rotate so that we can each get some time by ourselves as well as so I can get a day with just me and the kids. Yesterday was my day to do whatever but I was feeling like I needed to be with my family. I thought a trip to a museum or something would be good. But as the morning went on, we were all kinda lazy, and we just ended up lounging around here. I have to admit, it was really nice. There's a lot of time spent on trying to find things to do, but sometimes it is nice to just do, nothing. There was a lot of laughing, dancing and running around.

Today however was so lovely we thought we should get out. So, we drove to the MN Arboretum. It was beautiful.It was slow walking and a little carrying.
There's a tree exhibit that includes interactive sculptures. One was an oak tree with many silver balls beneath it. Carl and Willow really enjoyed looking at them, at themselves and others in them, and playing them like musical instruments.
We sat for a picnic and watched a hummingbird nearby.
The kids liked all the waterfalls, fountains, etc. Except of course when Carl decided it would be fun to splash water in Willow's face from a fountain. That was followed by a lot of tears and the decision to go home. All in all it was a pleasant and relaxing trip. Made me miss the country.
I think we all left rather tired. Though I think we all started that way too!

I hungee

First, at 5AM, it was a head butt, then feet in the face, a lost nuk and finally, "I hungee." That's what I woke to at just after 6 this morning. I hoped it wasn't true but alas, who can argue with a grumbly tumbly. So we slowly, I slowly, got up. By 6:30 she was finished with her cereal. Her next request - a walk. So off we went, her in the stroller and me pushing groggy but in control. She's funny, that Willow, and of course I love her. First, she picked what she wanted to wear, (and that she could find downstairs). She tried Carl's blue fleece vest, no, not that... his camo jammie shorts, and then hmmm, which shoes. The new ones. Once those were on she needed to pick the stroller and then, a blanket. Of course the blanket needed to be just right, wrapped and tied around her and the stroller, covering her top but with her feet out so she could kick them. She makes me smile.
We were off. Just a few steps down the way I found myself very thankful that I am not any taller as my head would have gone right through a huge spider web with the very large resident in it. The photo is not very good as the wind was blowing it but I gotta say, ick, ick and ick. I didn't walk through it but I could certainly feel it anyway.
It was a lovely walk though I am now ready for a nap. Too bad it's time to get to work!