A year ago, or so... and more

I didn't even realize she was wearing a pink shirt and no pants for this one too.
Of course, it should be noted, pink is one of her favorite colors. And purple.

I keep saying it is hard to believe she will be two or Carl five. I look at them and I am amazed. I can see Carl as tall as me and then taller. And the looks that Willow gives me now are only a foreshadow of her teenage days.

Sometimes I think it is more about me and owning adulthood. Whatever that means. I've owned, embraced and love being a parent but still, sometimes I think, WOW, I have two kids: one's about to turn two and the other almost 5, what am I doing, what am I going to do, with my life?

I take a deep breath and think...

I am successful in my life.
Sometimes it is challenging as there is a lot to balance and do. Moving from part time to full time has been a transition and though I do work from home my quality time with Carl and Willow has been reduced and this has been felt as a great loss. I see and feel that not only within myself but also within our children, particularly Carl's actions and words. So I am trying to restructure my schedule and responsibilities so as to open up more to creating a space that supports all our loves and needs.
Although if the multi-tasking studies I heard about yesterday are correct, my brain may be in trouble as I have convinced myself that not only am I quite good at multi-tasking, it is a necessity.

I have a lot that I am grateful for:
My children are loved and loving and both teach me so much while also bringing more joy than one could imagine. A husband who loves me, regardless of my endless worrying about things I can't always control (particularly the safety or health of our children) And he is a wonderful father who takes care of us, our home and well being. He inspires me by his creativity and thoughtfulness and embraces, shows interests in and encourages mine.

I work full time at a non-profit I not only helped to create but keep going... and with a mission that couldn't be more in tune with my values. It makes a difference. That is so important to me and to how I relate with the world as well as what I teach our children.

I don't often talk about, boast or brag about, what I am doing and all the projects I am involved in, at home or with work. I guess neither Brian or I do. I think we just move forward in our introverted lives doing the best we can to support our family and accomplishing what we can.

Of course we sometimes get tripped up by things. Still, it always comes down to us and the amazing fact that we have each other to rely on, especially Carl and Willow's wonderful ways of bringing us back to what is important, in this moment.